LOCATE THE VICTIM
↗Think of someone terrible.
You already know who they are. The friend with the cursed sleep schedule. The ex who still posts thirst traps. The roommate whose bank account has entered hospice.
SYSTEM ONLINE
←RETREAT TO THE SWIPETOXIC GARBAGE/NEGATIVE RIZZ
You are
officially
cooked.
Your friend is bed-rotting, your screen time is criminal, their situationship collapsed in 4K — and you were about to buy them a candle?
Absolutely not.
THE REALITY CHECK001 / 006
We are not
a gift shop.
We are your financial babysitters.
You don't come here because your friend needs another perfectly respectable present.
You come here because you looked at their situation and thought:
"There has to be something I can buy that is specifically wrong for everyone else and unbelievably correct for them."
Correct. There is.
WE SAW THE LORE
And we made
merchandise
about it.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?The algorithm
The algorithm
is petty.
DoomSpender is a swipe-based gift discovery platform for toxic, troll-worthy, weird and absurd gifts matched to someone's personality, habits, inside jokes and worst traits.
“"What kind of
Instead of asking "What does this person want?" we ask:
"What kind of
disaster are
they?"
That's the entire premise.
You identify the victim. We surface the garbage. You choose the level of damage.
Toxic gift. Troll gift. Roast gift. Weird gift. Absurd gift. Unhinged gift.
If it feels suspiciously accurate, you've found it.
SIGNAL / 002TOXICITY DETECTED
NO NORMAL GIFTS
Their
worst
trait.
PLAYING THE LORE BACK↗ 100% QUESTIONABLE
SUBJECT DETECTIONWe know
We know
your type.
Every gift starts with a person. Unfortunately, some people are just easier to roast than to shop for.
01Professional bed rotters↗
02Financial disasters↗
03Walking red flags↗
04Chronically online demons↗
05Serial procrastinators↗
06Human impulse buys↗
07Gym bro casualties↗
08People who need humbling↗
OPERATING PROCEDURESwipe.
Swipe.
Match.
Ruin.
DEPLOY THE DAMAGE
↗Swipe until it hurts.
Left means boring. Right means disturbingly accurate. Keep going until a product appears that feels like it was personally manufactured to expose their lore.
COMMIT THE CRIME
↗Buy the problem.
Send it. Present it. Watch their face. Accept absolutely no responsibility for the consequences of your purchase.
LAUNCH INVENTORY20 reasons
20 reasons
to make
bad decisions.
We didn't make generic gift suggestions. We made highly specific little weapons for people whose friends know too much about them.
PROFILE 1Emotional Support Pickle
PROFILE 2Human Face Stress Ball
PROFILE 3Nicolas Cage Sequin Pillow
PROFILE 4Deep Sea Regret Slippers
PROFILE 5Screaming Goat Button
PROFILE 6Cat Butt Tissue Holder
PROFILE 7Burrito Tortilla Blanket
PROFILE 8Tiny Hands Finger Puppets
PROFILE 9Dad Bod Beer Belly Fanny Pack
PROFILE 10Diet Soda Scented Candle
PROFILE 1Emotional Support Pickle
PROFILE 2Human Face Stress Ball
PROFILE 3Nicolas Cage Sequin Pillow
PROFILE 4Deep Sea Regret Slippers
PROFILE 5Screaming Goat Button
PROFILE 6Cat Butt Tissue Holder
PROFILE 7Burrito Tortilla Blanket
PROFILE 8Tiny Hands Finger Puppets
PROFILE 9Dad Bod Beer Belly Fanny Pack
PROFILE 10Diet Soda Scented Candle
ONE LAST THING006 / 006
Stop pretending
they deserve
a normal gift.
You know them better than that.
FIND THEIR PROBLEM↗